nlp revisited

I need to get back into the NLP groove. I haven't picked up a book in over a month and on Friday i had a situation where NLP would have let me handle it better. A lad in my department was getting into a habit of slacking off on Friday afternoons, usually our busiest time. He is always the first one away on a Friday, and his mobile starts going with texts from his mates getting ready to head for the pub. When he is on call and has to work late he starts to humf and moan about it. So i had to take him aside and remind him his responsibilities and also that we all work the same in the department. The message got through as he was last to leave on Friday, but i felt i could have handled it better. I built up some tension within myself before speaking with him, which in turn meant to start with i didn't get my message across as clear as i would have liked. There are other aspects of my life that NLP will help, in fact quite a lot, so i will get the book out, read it and put the theories into practice.

mum

this post has been two weeks in the making and may drag on a bit. Just over two weeks ago i had a meeting with Alison from Inverurie Hospital, Kerry from the Care Co that is looking after mum and myself. Mum was also there. We decided it was a good time to meet up as mum had been down for a few days and seemed to lack motivation. She was also having problems with her diabetes and was going hypo too many times.
So we sat and chatted about things. The first subject was the care my mum was receiving. She has three different carers go in and see her three times a day, 8.30am, 12.30pm and 5pm. She also gets two visit a week of two hours so she can go shopping, or out somewhere. The main problem is mum doesn't utilise the carers to her best advantage. When they ask if she needs help with her housework she tells them she can manage fine, but then she doesn't motivate herself to do it. They help her with her shopping but for the most they just keep a check on her making sure she is coping. This frustrates her and i can appreciate that. We discussed how best to work with the carers, that they were there to help, not just to check up on her.

We then spoke about her sleeping. She said she was sleeping fine, but Kerry raised concerns with this. Mum had a heat rash and received medication from her doctor. It had made her drowsy and once i had to go out and let the carer in as she had overslept. Kerry advised that mum had taken these tablets to help her sleep as she had been having trouble lately. Well obviously this was a big no no and a shocker! So we discussed this, and decided she needs to address this with her doctor. She is still on anti-depressants and this was to be reviewed. Kerry agreed to go with mum to the doctor to discuss things.


We discussed at length her diabetes. She is really struggling with it, her blood sugar level is all over the place. Alison said she would arrange a meeting with the diabetic nurse to try and get a better understanding of where it is going wrong. Mum said when her blood sugar levels are high she feels lethargic, but when it is low she feels energetic. Problem is when she drops too low she runs the risk of going hypo!


We also discussed the bereavement counselling my mum had received. She told us they had said they couldn't help her as long as she was on anti depressants. This sounded strange so it was agreed to review this and to contact Cruise(the bereavement councillors) for a new appointment. I offered to attend but Mum said she would prefer to meet on her own.


Mum said she wanted a dog. We had spoke about this and decided it would be a good thing, so the search will begin.


Finally i suggested a couple of things to help. One was a to do list, that everyone could write in, and it may help motivate mum. Secondly i asked if she could write down what she was spending. As i am looking after her money i am finding it a bit tough to keep her within budget. Nothing serious but writing things down would help.


So that was the meeting, everyone was happy, and progress was made.

I continued to phone each day, she seemed fine. But a few thing started to concern me. She was very reluctant to write anything on her to do list, or write down what money she was spending. I tried to reassure her saying it wasn't me checking up but trying to help. Then last week Dave left for a months trip to Australia. I phoned her on the Sunday then the Monday and she seemed down. She hadn't done anything that weekend, even though the weather was good. On the Monday i was down with a sickness bug and she phoned concerned I hadn't phoned her. That was fine and we spoke for a bit. Then on Tuesday i still had a touch of diarrhea and phoned her and she was ok. On Wednesday Kim came down with the bug i had, so i had to head home, get Aisha ready for school then take her down. Just as i was about to leave Kerry phoned me to say she couldn't get into the house. Dilemma. What do i do. Aisha had to get to school but i couldn't leave mum going hypo. Fortunately Kerry phoned back to say mum was up, she could see her through the window, but was walking about in a daze not responding. After a few minutes she managed to get her attention and get her to open the door. She said she would phone the nurse. Enough time for me to get Aisha to school and then i headed out to Inverurie. When i got there the nurse was gone but mum was sat with Kerry. She seemed a bit dazed. She explained after being hypo she usually felt ill for the rest of the day. his was a change from when i was a kid, as usually if she went hypo she was in a good mood afterwards. We talked for a bit, discussed what had happened. Then Kerry left, and i walked her to the door where we chatted for a few minutes. She raised a few concerns one of which was mums ability to put on a show that everything is fine when it isn't. I thanked her for her help and went in to speak to mum.

I tried to get to the source of what was up. she had been down for a few days, and had rejected any attempt at encouraging her to get out and do things. I asked if it was dad and she said it wasn't. I asked if there was anything else. She said she was worried about how Dave and Harry were getting on in Australia. Dave, Lara and Harri left last Saturday for a month in Australia. I told her there was no need to worry, they were on holiday and would have been having a great time. she then seemed to get a bit upset but i couldn't work out why. I told her i was there for her, what ever she needed. We had a look at the to do list. One item was to phone Cruise, the bereavement councillors. I phoned for her and got her an appointment for the next day. i also asked her to do a couple of things off the list. When i left she seemed better. I phoned her later that day and asked how she got on with what she had to do, and she said she hadn't but that was ok, i knew she wasn't feeling great after going hypo.
the next day she had her appointment with Cruise. I phoned after to see how she got on. She said she had broke down, and cried a lot. She said she told them she felt that she wasn't there any more, that everyone focused on the diabetes, and not on her the person. She then broke down speaking to me saying how sorry she was and that if it wasn't for me and Dave she didn't know what she would do. I reassured her that we were there, and everything would be ok.
Afterwards while thinking about what had been happening, i started to think about how much of my mums problems are bereavement and how much are depression. Last week i spoke to her one day and she said her blood sugar was high but she was going to head out for a walk to get it down a bit. When i phoned her the next day she said she didn't bother going, preferring to sit about the house all day, even though it was a sunny day. She had a clear choice, she knew what to do to make herself feel better, and chose to sit about. To me this is an indication of depression.

After the meeting when it was decided she would go to the doctor with Kerry, who as a carer would have been allowed into the meeting, mum made the appointment. Unfortunately the appointment was for a Monday, and mum didn't tell Kerry about it until the Sunday, so she went on her own and when she came back she said the Doctor said just to continue as she is with the same pills. I spoke to Kerry about this and she got mum to make another appointment when she will attend.
I need to wrap this post up as i have been rambling on a bit. Mum has another appointment with the bereavement councillor next week as well as her doctors appointment. Those should go a long way to determining what the short term future brings. I'm heading out today to do some gardening for her and to see if she is ok. I think we all know now that things were not as rosy as they seemed and the road to recovery will be a long one!!

a positive outlook

i am feeling very positive about things just now. i have a separate post about my mum that i cant publish until i am happy with it, i just cant get my thoughts down to read correctly, hopefully soon though. But my back pain has gone, i have been swinging(kettlebells) cycling and running and feel good. The weight hasn't shifted any, i weighed myself on Monday, but i ain't worried, because i feel i have so many more tools at my disposal. In a way this year so far has been all about preparation, and now i am ready to get down to it, to implement change. Last night i didn't get out until after 8.30pm and by then it was close to darkness. i had bought new lights for my bike and went to put the batteries in before heading out when the fitting that holds the front light to the handlebars broke!! that will teach me for buying cheap lights. So not to be put off, i decided to head out for a run. I'm not a great fan of running, but I gave it my best shot. I went to Balgownie playing fields in the pitch dark and ran round one of the football pitches. I ran at length then breadth at a decent pace, then walked the other half until i completed a circuit, repeating five times. I was soaked with sweat at the end and breathing very heavily but felt good. Tonight it is the turn of the kettlebells. With my workouts with them being erratic i will re-start the 20 minute workout Ray gave me and work that.

on my bike(again)

picked up my bike after having it repaired, final cost £123.00. Went out on it last night, and it was a bit of a struggle. My back didn't hurt which was positive. I am going to head out on it again tonight, just to get the legs working again, then on Wednesday I will get back on the kettle bells. The tightness in my back has all but gone, so if I carry out the swings correctly I shouldn't have too much trouble.
the last few weeks i have really felt lethargic but am feeling better now, and am ready to get back to where I was, exercising each day. I have been scribbling down a programme with alternates between kettle bell swings, cycling and running, and will start it proper next week. This week i will keep myself busy each day getting back into the swing of things. I also have a busy schedule with my mum this week, but more on that later.

i tried to swing the kettlebell last night but my back still aches somewhat, not that much, more that I am paranoid about doing proper injury to myself. I will try and do a little each day to slowly build up confidence again.
The bike goes in on Thursday for a service on Saturday, so hopefully on Sunday I will be out and about again. I have surprised myself how much i have missed being active.
i have a meeting with the hospital and my mums carers next week, her progress is going backwards, and is causing some concern. I speak to her at least once every day and have noticed she isn't so motivated as she was. Others have noticed this hence the reason for the meeting. It isn't until the 26th of this month so we will need to wait and see.
Saturdays match against Celtic, lets not go there. I am so depressed when it comes to all matters AFC, its all doom and gloom!!

back in the groove

i haven't posted for a few days. Two reasons. First, i have been on holiday. Secondly I have hurt my back and been out of action. The two coupled together means there has been no progress, but you know what? I don't care. I am happy that I will get back on and make the progress I was making. The two weeks where everything was going well felt good and I want that back with bells on.
Lets start with the holiday. We didn't go anywhere but had days away here and there and it was great to be away from the office and the sanction of my family. Aisha starts Primary 2 next week and it is great to see her progress and grow up. Kim also seems a lot happier. She starts back at the university in a couple of weeks and the extra cash will be a huge help!
Okay onto my back. I managed to hurt it in two places. The first was picking Aisha up without bending my knees, as soon as i lifted her I knew i had done something. It was a dull stiffness more than anything else. It didn't lay me out but it certainly restricted me. Then i managed to hurt myself in bed!! i twisted my back and felt a sharp pain beside my left shoulder blade. This made movement more restrictive but the dull pain in my lower back disappeared!!
I was still able to function normally though sitting down was fine but when i stood up it took me a couple of seconds to adjust. When the lower back hurt i tried the kettlebell but it wasn't happening.
My bike is also still out of action, but is going in for a service to the Edinburgh Bike Co. on 22nd August, it will be good to have it back in tip top condition and to have more trust in it!
One major change has been i finally had that conversation with my brother. I felt and underlying tension between us and didn't like it so decided it was better to ask him than to avoid it. So we went for a few drinks last Saturday. I asked why he hadn't spoken to me about going to Australia and he said it was because he felt bad about leaving me the responsibility of looking after mum and dad. I told him i would rather have that responsibility than to loose my best friend and everything just felt right again. We still have more speaking to do, but the beer was taking hold and the time wasn't right. But i am so glad we talked. a lesson i will learn for the future.
Today is the first game of the football season and i am off to Pittodrie, and it is pissing it down. What has happened to the first game sunshine we are used to. A hard game against Celtic but my optimism is still there, just!!

Put your back into it!!

it hasn't been the best over the last few days. I was playing with Aisha and picked her up and strained my back. Nothing too serious but it has hampered my progress. I don't think there is any lasting damage, and i am trying to keep as active as possible. I have been off for a few days holidays so things haven't been so intense, and i have some more days off this week then i really plan to push things on. I need to chart my progress, so i can see improvements, the point of keeping a blog!! I still feel very positive which is important. I know i can do this and am focusing on how good i will feel at the end of this journey.
The bike will be going in for a service this week. It will be good to have faith in it and for it to function properly.