Why did I start this blog. Well yes I wanted to change my life as I wasn't happy with the direction it was going in. Am i completely happy? No i wouldn't say I am, but then I wouldn't say anyone is. This journey so far has had its ups and downs, i have had things thrown at me I didn't expect, and have had to change my route on more than one occasion. But I will keep on this road for now. My knowledge has increased, I have learned new skills and at the very least feel better equipped to make change in my life.
So why did i start the blog. Well i had been thinking things over for a while, about where my life was going, especially if it stayed the same, and I didn't want that, i still don't. So after reading a friends blog i got inspiration. I still do. But the reason for my blog wasn't to communicate with friends, or to make new cyber friends. It was purely to get my thoughts down and recorded. For me to track my journey. Not for anyone else. I haven't told anyone(except my wife) about this blog. Others have found it which is good, but the primary reason was so i could put down my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas somewhere. And I have lost track of that.
The one lesson i have learnt over the last 6 months, is that nothing comes easy, you have to work at it, but if you do the rewards are there. Sitting on your arse watching the world go by shouldn't be an option to consider. And for me it isn't.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
its been a while
i haven't posted anything for over two weeks, time being the main reason. Work has been extremely busy. We have been controlling logistics movements for a new project in the Dutch sector. This has used up a lot of my time and the hours have been long. Its been a bit of a juggling act getting the balance right but I am coping so far!!
Mum has been released from hospital. She has a carer visits four times a day and a nurse goes in twice a day to keep an eye on her diabetes. I have to say she is happy to be home and that is a good thing. she also seems to be making an effort to keep active, heading out each day to the shops, buying plants for the garden. But its only been a week and she is already speaking of getting rid of her carer, which would be a bad move.
She is not 100% right and never will be. She was wanting help looking for a sheet last week and spoke to me as if it was my house and she was a visitor, not the other way round. She started smoking again after stopping for the 12 weeks she was in hospital. Its something i new she would do, there had been signs, but no less annoying. All that good work gone to waste. Ironically we cleared out my dads wardrobe at the weekend, and while emptying the pockets of some jackets i came across a packet of cigars with the big bold sign. SMOKING KILLS, and it made me think of my parents life long habit and if it had all been worthwhile!!
I try to get out to see her two or three times a week, and phone her twice a day. As one of her carers, that is the level of help i can give. I also take care of her finances. All my help is going on empowering her rather than assisting her. When she asks me to do something, if i feel she can do it herself i refuse, and help her achieve it herself. This should, in the long run, be of more benefit to her. I find it frustrating to deal with sometimes. Take today for example. She wasn't at home when i thought she would be, so i panicked a bit. When i did get hold of her i could tell she was smoking which annoyed me. Then we talked about her carer visiting and she said she wanted to reduce the amount of visits. she's only been home a week but she thinks she can look after herself without any problems, whereas i disagree. i want her to be happy in her home but also safe. Without a carer i don't think she will be. She gets confused easily, and having a carer available is a great resource for her, lets hope she See's things the same way as I do.
I have stopped fasting. Primarily because i wasn't convinced it was working, but also because i received a great email from a very good friend of mine. He has managed to lose 13kg by making small changes. he didn't over analyse things, he stuck to some basic rules and it worked. And its still working. And i am very proud of him. His rules were
1. exercise 30 minutes a day
2. drink at least 2.5 litre of water a day
3. cut out the snacks
4. replace an evening meal with cereal a couple of days a week
He has admitted its been tough to get to where he is and sometimes has to drag himself to where he wants to be but that's understandable. And where he is going is where i want to be. Less focus and thought, more action!!
I need to get my kettle bell used more, at the moment i am working it once a week and it isn't enough. My main source of exercise at the moment is gardening, having to do both my own and my mums. Not my idea of fun!!
Mum has been released from hospital. She has a carer visits four times a day and a nurse goes in twice a day to keep an eye on her diabetes. I have to say she is happy to be home and that is a good thing. she also seems to be making an effort to keep active, heading out each day to the shops, buying plants for the garden. But its only been a week and she is already speaking of getting rid of her carer, which would be a bad move.
She is not 100% right and never will be. She was wanting help looking for a sheet last week and spoke to me as if it was my house and she was a visitor, not the other way round. She started smoking again after stopping for the 12 weeks she was in hospital. Its something i new she would do, there had been signs, but no less annoying. All that good work gone to waste. Ironically we cleared out my dads wardrobe at the weekend, and while emptying the pockets of some jackets i came across a packet of cigars with the big bold sign. SMOKING KILLS, and it made me think of my parents life long habit and if it had all been worthwhile!!
I try to get out to see her two or three times a week, and phone her twice a day. As one of her carers, that is the level of help i can give. I also take care of her finances. All my help is going on empowering her rather than assisting her. When she asks me to do something, if i feel she can do it herself i refuse, and help her achieve it herself. This should, in the long run, be of more benefit to her. I find it frustrating to deal with sometimes. Take today for example. She wasn't at home when i thought she would be, so i panicked a bit. When i did get hold of her i could tell she was smoking which annoyed me. Then we talked about her carer visiting and she said she wanted to reduce the amount of visits. she's only been home a week but she thinks she can look after herself without any problems, whereas i disagree. i want her to be happy in her home but also safe. Without a carer i don't think she will be. She gets confused easily, and having a carer available is a great resource for her, lets hope she See's things the same way as I do.
I have stopped fasting. Primarily because i wasn't convinced it was working, but also because i received a great email from a very good friend of mine. He has managed to lose 13kg by making small changes. he didn't over analyse things, he stuck to some basic rules and it worked. And its still working. And i am very proud of him. His rules were
1. exercise 30 minutes a day
2. drink at least 2.5 litre of water a day
3. cut out the snacks
4. replace an evening meal with cereal a couple of days a week
He has admitted its been tough to get to where he is and sometimes has to drag himself to where he wants to be but that's understandable. And where he is going is where i want to be. Less focus and thought, more action!!
I need to get my kettle bell used more, at the moment i am working it once a week and it isn't enough. My main source of exercise at the moment is gardening, having to do both my own and my mums. Not my idea of fun!!
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Focus
I need to keep my focus. I think i have tried too much and achieved too little. The whole concept for this blog was too change my life and to track it through writing about it. The writing helps, it keeps things fresh in your mind and it makes you think deeper about the events in your life. But my life has changed so much since the initial idea.
I still want to achieve all the goals i initially set myself, but need to change they way i accomplish it. To completely change my life all at the same time was a step too far. Smaller steps are required.
The first thing I need to change is my weight. This is directly linked to getting fitter, so two changes for the price of one. These are what i need to focus on. To achieve this I am using various tools. I log my food intake through the LiveStrong website. This is great as it shows my intake of calories, fat, carbohydrates etc. It really keeps you on track and makes you think about what you are eating. over time my diet will improve as more data from my intake becomes available. I also have a good understanding of kettlebells, a workout that is perfectly suited for me. I know i can be doing more with this but wont beat myself up too much about it. Finally I have NLP. Now this is one area i have let slip and need to change. NLP will give me the skills to accomplish my goals, but after initially reading up on it i have stopped, and my understanding of it at this stage is no where near what it could be. A better understanding of NLP will help me accomplish my goals.
I have been reading various publications and websites and though still a novice have taken on board small things that are helping me. For example i recently bought Richard Bandlers new book. In it one thing sprang out at me. It said always live in the moment, not the past not the future but the present. This has been a great titbit. I use it a lot as i have been guilty of dwelling on the past, while continually planning and thinking of the future. Not enough time was spent living the moment. This means i can concentrate better while spending time with it Aisha, rather than playing with her while thinking what i have to do that night, or the next day. It means she gets my full attention when i am with her, which is the very least she deserves.
I still want to achieve all the goals i initially set myself, but need to change they way i accomplish it. To completely change my life all at the same time was a step too far. Smaller steps are required.
The first thing I need to change is my weight. This is directly linked to getting fitter, so two changes for the price of one. These are what i need to focus on. To achieve this I am using various tools. I log my food intake through the LiveStrong website. This is great as it shows my intake of calories, fat, carbohydrates etc. It really keeps you on track and makes you think about what you are eating. over time my diet will improve as more data from my intake becomes available. I also have a good understanding of kettlebells, a workout that is perfectly suited for me. I know i can be doing more with this but wont beat myself up too much about it. Finally I have NLP. Now this is one area i have let slip and need to change. NLP will give me the skills to accomplish my goals, but after initially reading up on it i have stopped, and my understanding of it at this stage is no where near what it could be. A better understanding of NLP will help me accomplish my goals.
I have been reading various publications and websites and though still a novice have taken on board small things that are helping me. For example i recently bought Richard Bandlers new book. In it one thing sprang out at me. It said always live in the moment, not the past not the future but the present. This has been a great titbit. I use it a lot as i have been guilty of dwelling on the past, while continually planning and thinking of the future. Not enough time was spent living the moment. This means i can concentrate better while spending time with it Aisha, rather than playing with her while thinking what i have to do that night, or the next day. It means she gets my full attention when i am with her, which is the very least she deserves.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
a change of direction
over the last few days i have went back to my old routine, a poor diet and no exercise. The reason for this? So i could enter the stats into my livestrong account to see how bad my diet was, and a final reminder of what I am leaving behind. and I am glad I did. Take today. I took Aisha to MacDonald's for lunch, and had a BBQ for supper. Okay maybe not so bad, but it made me feel bloated, fat and very uncomfortable. Add in the fact the weather was great and it hit home why i want to shift this weight. I covered up in a big baggy shapeless shirt and three quarter length trousers but didn't feel at all comfortable. I see so much clothes that are at the moment out of my reach. Not due to price but more design and how I will look and feel wearing them. But they will be my inspiration to change, along with the other inspirations I have collected over the weeks.
So Sunday night was the start of another fast. This time I found it very easy and have found the best solution, have my tea around 6pm then fast for 24 hours until the next evening. My evening meal consisted of two burgers that would have been done on the BBQ if my car hadn't broken down and left me late getting home. And no snacks at night, not even a chocolate out of Kim's birthday box. Happy Birthday darling, I love you xx
So Sunday night was the start of another fast. This time I found it very easy and have found the best solution, have my tea around 6pm then fast for 24 hours until the next evening. My evening meal consisted of two burgers that would have been done on the BBQ if my car hadn't broken down and left me late getting home. And no snacks at night, not even a chocolate out of Kim's birthday box. Happy Birthday darling, I love you xx
Thursday, 28 May 2009
Mum
Finally, we have a date, Wednesday the 10th June, where we will meet with the medical staff and decide on the level of care mum will need at home. Speaking to the nurse this morning she will need assistance from more than one person on a day to day basis. It is likely it will be one to look after her diabetes, another to look after her occupational functions, and Dave and myself. The progress she has made lately has been small, but then she has a shorter distance to travel. she has gained most of the skills she once had, ones we take for granted like making a cup of tea are still a bit of a challenge. The real worry is once she gets out of hospital she is more vulnerable. Anyone can knock at the door and if they see how vulnerable she is they may think she is an easy target. That will mean being on close contact with her, and being there for her always. It will mean me dashing out to Inverurie for the smallest of requests, to open a jar, to change a light bulb. But as time passes she will overcome the Small hurdles. Last week she couldn't fasten the seat belt in my car. This week she can. Progress. Yes very small steps, but small steps in the right direction.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
i haven't posted for a few days now so let me recap on whats been happening. First off, i weighed myself on Monday and have lost 1.1/2 pounds. Woohoo!!!! Okay not the greatest but finally the weight is coming off and and i am going in the right direction. What has been a big help has been the diet tracker i have been using. i can physically see what i have eaten, the calorie content, the fat content, and make the necessary adjustments to keep on track. I can also log my fitness regime which also helps. I have to admit losing that 1.1/2 pounds felt good and gave me inspiration to carry on.
I spent the whole weekend gardening, or more to the point weeding. Saturday and Sunday spent in my garden, Mondays in mums garden, but now both are looking a lot better. Neither are finished but at least you can see an improvement!!
Oh and Jimmy Calderwood has been sacked, happy days!!!!!!!!
I spent the whole weekend gardening, or more to the point weeding. Saturday and Sunday spent in my garden, Mondays in mums garden, but now both are looking a lot better. Neither are finished but at least you can see an improvement!!
Oh and Jimmy Calderwood has been sacked, happy days!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Diet
Diet is the biggest challenge i will have in my revolution. It is the biggest obstacle for me to overcome. this is how i plan to do it. I have spoke about the fasting diet where i don't eat for 24 hours at a time, twice a week. Today i have just finished my first fast of the week. I cant say it is easy, easy would be to fill my face when i am hungry, but the point is it suits me. This is how my mind works. I start a diet on Monday, up to Wednesday might be going great, then Thursday my planned schedule gets disrupted, say I have to work late or nip out to see my mum. What then happens is I eat crap instead of a balanced meal. Thursday comes and in the back of my head I know Wednesday wasn't a great day for the diet so I am not so strict with what I eat. By Thursday the diet is finished BUT with the promise to start again on Monday. This then gives me Friday, Saturday and Sunday to fill my face knowing I will start a new diet again on Monday!! With the fasting diet I have more control, as I wont beat myself up when i have a bad day.
I am using Lance Armstrongs livestrong web site's calorie tracker to record everything I eat. I settled on this because it had all the UK foods in its database where as the other one I used didn't and I had to settle for a US equivalent or input all the nutritional information myself. Another advantage is i can usee the App on my iTouch which gives me more flexibility.
This tracker also has let me set my weight loss goal. I have entered my starting weight and also my desired weight. Working on the basis that I want to get to my desired weight for my birthday, 7th October, I must lose 2lb a week. To do this I must only consume 1602 calories per day. this works out at 11,214 calories per 7 day week. With the fasting diet I will only be eating for 5 days giving me an allowance of 2242 calories a day. Now this is closer to the recommended allowance of 2500 a day for a man of my size, and should be easily attainable. It also doesn't include calories burned during exercise. The one thing at the back of my mind is the doubt that 24 hour fasting does affect the metabolism and the fasting isn't having the desired affect, but for now it has been too short a period to establish if this is correct.
Off now to enjoy my supper, nothing like a fast to build an appetite!!
I am using Lance Armstrongs livestrong web site's calorie tracker to record everything I eat. I settled on this because it had all the UK foods in its database where as the other one I used didn't and I had to settle for a US equivalent or input all the nutritional information myself. Another advantage is i can usee the App on my iTouch which gives me more flexibility.
This tracker also has let me set my weight loss goal. I have entered my starting weight and also my desired weight. Working on the basis that I want to get to my desired weight for my birthday, 7th October, I must lose 2lb a week. To do this I must only consume 1602 calories per day. this works out at 11,214 calories per 7 day week. With the fasting diet I will only be eating for 5 days giving me an allowance of 2242 calories a day. Now this is closer to the recommended allowance of 2500 a day for a man of my size, and should be easily attainable. It also doesn't include calories burned during exercise. The one thing at the back of my mind is the doubt that 24 hour fasting does affect the metabolism and the fasting isn't having the desired affect, but for now it has been too short a period to establish if this is correct.
Off now to enjoy my supper, nothing like a fast to build an appetite!!
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