Why did I start this blog. Well yes I wanted to change my life as I wasn't happy with the direction it was going in. Am i completely happy? No i wouldn't say I am, but then I wouldn't say anyone is. This journey so far has had its ups and downs, i have had things thrown at me I didn't expect, and have had to change my route on more than one occasion. But I will keep on this road for now. My knowledge has increased, I have learned new skills and at the very least feel better equipped to make change in my life.
So why did i start the blog. Well i had been thinking things over for a while, about where my life was going, especially if it stayed the same, and I didn't want that, i still don't. So after reading a friends blog i got inspiration. I still do. But the reason for my blog wasn't to communicate with friends, or to make new cyber friends. It was purely to get my thoughts down and recorded. For me to track my journey. Not for anyone else. I haven't told anyone(except my wife) about this blog. Others have found it which is good, but the primary reason was so i could put down my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas somewhere. And I have lost track of that.
The one lesson i have learnt over the last 6 months, is that nothing comes easy, you have to work at it, but if you do the rewards are there. Sitting on your arse watching the world go by shouldn't be an option to consider. And for me it isn't.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
its been a while
i haven't posted anything for over two weeks, time being the main reason. Work has been extremely busy. We have been controlling logistics movements for a new project in the Dutch sector. This has used up a lot of my time and the hours have been long. Its been a bit of a juggling act getting the balance right but I am coping so far!!
Mum has been released from hospital. She has a carer visits four times a day and a nurse goes in twice a day to keep an eye on her diabetes. I have to say she is happy to be home and that is a good thing. she also seems to be making an effort to keep active, heading out each day to the shops, buying plants for the garden. But its only been a week and she is already speaking of getting rid of her carer, which would be a bad move.
She is not 100% right and never will be. She was wanting help looking for a sheet last week and spoke to me as if it was my house and she was a visitor, not the other way round. She started smoking again after stopping for the 12 weeks she was in hospital. Its something i new she would do, there had been signs, but no less annoying. All that good work gone to waste. Ironically we cleared out my dads wardrobe at the weekend, and while emptying the pockets of some jackets i came across a packet of cigars with the big bold sign. SMOKING KILLS, and it made me think of my parents life long habit and if it had all been worthwhile!!
I try to get out to see her two or three times a week, and phone her twice a day. As one of her carers, that is the level of help i can give. I also take care of her finances. All my help is going on empowering her rather than assisting her. When she asks me to do something, if i feel she can do it herself i refuse, and help her achieve it herself. This should, in the long run, be of more benefit to her. I find it frustrating to deal with sometimes. Take today for example. She wasn't at home when i thought she would be, so i panicked a bit. When i did get hold of her i could tell she was smoking which annoyed me. Then we talked about her carer visiting and she said she wanted to reduce the amount of visits. she's only been home a week but she thinks she can look after herself without any problems, whereas i disagree. i want her to be happy in her home but also safe. Without a carer i don't think she will be. She gets confused easily, and having a carer available is a great resource for her, lets hope she See's things the same way as I do.
I have stopped fasting. Primarily because i wasn't convinced it was working, but also because i received a great email from a very good friend of mine. He has managed to lose 13kg by making small changes. he didn't over analyse things, he stuck to some basic rules and it worked. And its still working. And i am very proud of him. His rules were
1. exercise 30 minutes a day
2. drink at least 2.5 litre of water a day
3. cut out the snacks
4. replace an evening meal with cereal a couple of days a week
He has admitted its been tough to get to where he is and sometimes has to drag himself to where he wants to be but that's understandable. And where he is going is where i want to be. Less focus and thought, more action!!
I need to get my kettle bell used more, at the moment i am working it once a week and it isn't enough. My main source of exercise at the moment is gardening, having to do both my own and my mums. Not my idea of fun!!
Mum has been released from hospital. She has a carer visits four times a day and a nurse goes in twice a day to keep an eye on her diabetes. I have to say she is happy to be home and that is a good thing. she also seems to be making an effort to keep active, heading out each day to the shops, buying plants for the garden. But its only been a week and she is already speaking of getting rid of her carer, which would be a bad move.
She is not 100% right and never will be. She was wanting help looking for a sheet last week and spoke to me as if it was my house and she was a visitor, not the other way round. She started smoking again after stopping for the 12 weeks she was in hospital. Its something i new she would do, there had been signs, but no less annoying. All that good work gone to waste. Ironically we cleared out my dads wardrobe at the weekend, and while emptying the pockets of some jackets i came across a packet of cigars with the big bold sign. SMOKING KILLS, and it made me think of my parents life long habit and if it had all been worthwhile!!
I try to get out to see her two or three times a week, and phone her twice a day. As one of her carers, that is the level of help i can give. I also take care of her finances. All my help is going on empowering her rather than assisting her. When she asks me to do something, if i feel she can do it herself i refuse, and help her achieve it herself. This should, in the long run, be of more benefit to her. I find it frustrating to deal with sometimes. Take today for example. She wasn't at home when i thought she would be, so i panicked a bit. When i did get hold of her i could tell she was smoking which annoyed me. Then we talked about her carer visiting and she said she wanted to reduce the amount of visits. she's only been home a week but she thinks she can look after herself without any problems, whereas i disagree. i want her to be happy in her home but also safe. Without a carer i don't think she will be. She gets confused easily, and having a carer available is a great resource for her, lets hope she See's things the same way as I do.
I have stopped fasting. Primarily because i wasn't convinced it was working, but also because i received a great email from a very good friend of mine. He has managed to lose 13kg by making small changes. he didn't over analyse things, he stuck to some basic rules and it worked. And its still working. And i am very proud of him. His rules were
1. exercise 30 minutes a day
2. drink at least 2.5 litre of water a day
3. cut out the snacks
4. replace an evening meal with cereal a couple of days a week
He has admitted its been tough to get to where he is and sometimes has to drag himself to where he wants to be but that's understandable. And where he is going is where i want to be. Less focus and thought, more action!!
I need to get my kettle bell used more, at the moment i am working it once a week and it isn't enough. My main source of exercise at the moment is gardening, having to do both my own and my mums. Not my idea of fun!!
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Focus
I need to keep my focus. I think i have tried too much and achieved too little. The whole concept for this blog was too change my life and to track it through writing about it. The writing helps, it keeps things fresh in your mind and it makes you think deeper about the events in your life. But my life has changed so much since the initial idea.
I still want to achieve all the goals i initially set myself, but need to change they way i accomplish it. To completely change my life all at the same time was a step too far. Smaller steps are required.
The first thing I need to change is my weight. This is directly linked to getting fitter, so two changes for the price of one. These are what i need to focus on. To achieve this I am using various tools. I log my food intake through the LiveStrong website. This is great as it shows my intake of calories, fat, carbohydrates etc. It really keeps you on track and makes you think about what you are eating. over time my diet will improve as more data from my intake becomes available. I also have a good understanding of kettlebells, a workout that is perfectly suited for me. I know i can be doing more with this but wont beat myself up too much about it. Finally I have NLP. Now this is one area i have let slip and need to change. NLP will give me the skills to accomplish my goals, but after initially reading up on it i have stopped, and my understanding of it at this stage is no where near what it could be. A better understanding of NLP will help me accomplish my goals.
I have been reading various publications and websites and though still a novice have taken on board small things that are helping me. For example i recently bought Richard Bandlers new book. In it one thing sprang out at me. It said always live in the moment, not the past not the future but the present. This has been a great titbit. I use it a lot as i have been guilty of dwelling on the past, while continually planning and thinking of the future. Not enough time was spent living the moment. This means i can concentrate better while spending time with it Aisha, rather than playing with her while thinking what i have to do that night, or the next day. It means she gets my full attention when i am with her, which is the very least she deserves.
I still want to achieve all the goals i initially set myself, but need to change they way i accomplish it. To completely change my life all at the same time was a step too far. Smaller steps are required.
The first thing I need to change is my weight. This is directly linked to getting fitter, so two changes for the price of one. These are what i need to focus on. To achieve this I am using various tools. I log my food intake through the LiveStrong website. This is great as it shows my intake of calories, fat, carbohydrates etc. It really keeps you on track and makes you think about what you are eating. over time my diet will improve as more data from my intake becomes available. I also have a good understanding of kettlebells, a workout that is perfectly suited for me. I know i can be doing more with this but wont beat myself up too much about it. Finally I have NLP. Now this is one area i have let slip and need to change. NLP will give me the skills to accomplish my goals, but after initially reading up on it i have stopped, and my understanding of it at this stage is no where near what it could be. A better understanding of NLP will help me accomplish my goals.
I have been reading various publications and websites and though still a novice have taken on board small things that are helping me. For example i recently bought Richard Bandlers new book. In it one thing sprang out at me. It said always live in the moment, not the past not the future but the present. This has been a great titbit. I use it a lot as i have been guilty of dwelling on the past, while continually planning and thinking of the future. Not enough time was spent living the moment. This means i can concentrate better while spending time with it Aisha, rather than playing with her while thinking what i have to do that night, or the next day. It means she gets my full attention when i am with her, which is the very least she deserves.
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