a step closer

Kim had a meeting with the doctor about Aisha today and he agreed to do the 5 tests required to diagnose Autism. After a lengthy chat he agreed it seemed less likely she had selective mutism and more like she is on the Autistic Spectrum. This has left me feeling strange. I am glad we may be moving closer to finding the cause of the problems, i feel bad that i doubted Kim, and i feel sad that Aisha has more problems to deal with. But tonight will be a family night with lots of cuddles and fun and games. If its dry we will go out to watch the fireworks.
Last night we went to the university library and stocked up on some books on Autism. I also managed to pick up the Structure of Magic I & II by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. I am going to go full steam ahead with NLP to see if i can help myself, but more importantly use it to help me understand Aisha better and to help her.

Stuck in the Middle with you

The last few days have been a struggle. Lets start with Aisha. Her wetting herself has returned to a daily event. Her behaviour with Kim is also getting worse. Kim has broke down a couple of times lately, and seems to have taken as much as she can. There has been a lot of tears. We had a long talk on Monday. She is convinced Aisha has a form of Autism. We have a doctors appointment with the pediatrician that has looked at Aisha since she was born, and will raise the concerns there. Kim had listed all the issues she has with Aisha, some I see, some I don't. But what is clear to me now is i must support Kim 100% at the moment. I really don't know what to think. I have read a bit about Autism and it seems to me Kim is clutching at straws but what is clear is that discounting it at the moment is pushing her away and making her feel isolated which i cant do. She needs my support. So everything has to go on the back burner just now, my full concentration is Kim and Aisha. I have shifted my work day to start at 6.30am so i can get finished earlier, though working in the oil industry means that's not guaranteed. i have to be there as much as i can. The balancing acts comes with my mum. I have to be there for her as well, but not to the detriment of Kim and Aisha. So far she is back home and coping fine, long may it continue!!
I went out to Inverurie last night to collect my old car, it had been with a mechanic getting work done for me to sell it. When i got there the engine was dead and there was about an inch of rainwater on the floor of the drivers side. The smell of mould was evident. Just what i needed!!!!

its been a while

i havent posted for a good long time so here's a quick update. Last week i was off on holiday, didnt go anywhere but was great to spend time with the family. The weather was terrible but we still had a good time, playing the Wii, watching DVD's. Then on Sunday got a phone call to say mum had been taken into hospital, the carer had to call an ambulance as mum had went hypo. Spent the afternoon in A&E waiting room, finally got to see mum to be told she would be kept in overnight, so i had to nip out to Inverurie to get an overnight bag for her. Met a lad Kevin in A&E who i knew from years back, his mum was also in. When i went back in at night mum was anxious because she hadnt taken her pills or her insulin. Told her not to worry, she was in the best place to deal with that. Me and Dave had a long chat to her about her diabetis, something she hasnt been able to control since Dad died. If she could get it under control her life would be so much better. When we left the hospital we bumped in to Kevin again. I asked how his mum was and he said he was told not to expect her to make it through the night. She had fallen and dislocated her arm that afternoon, but at some stage had been sick, which had went into her lungs. The poor lad looked absolutely devastated. I really felt for him. Your whole world can be turned upside down in a second. I had a troubled sleep that night thinking of many things that have effected me lately.
We expected mum to get out on the Monday but they kept her in until Tuesday night. I worked late and headed up to take her home. Kim had texted me to ask if i would be home to bath Aisha but i had to say sorry no. Then mum was on the phone chasing me to hurry up as she wanted home. I could feel myself stuck in the middle. I collected mum, rushed out to Inverurie, dropped her off then rushed back into town to try and catch some time with Aisha. When i got in Aisha was on the toilet and Kim was in tears. What was wrong i asked? Aisha had peed herself. She is 6 now and this has been a constant battle. Kim blames herself. She also suspects there could be more to it, possibly Autism. I disagree and this can cause arguments. I washed Aisha and put her to bed, then went to speak to Kim but tension was in the air and we didn't get anywhere.
The next day i went on the Internet to see what i could find. I came across an organisation called ERIC, Education and Resource for Improving Children's incontinence. Hopefully they can give us some answers. I have printed off some literature and started reading through it. I read Aisha a story from there site last night, about a little boy who has trouble pooing. Maybe if she can relate to someone Else's story we can understand her better.
the fitness regime was due to be restarted on Monday after my holiday but has been delayed due to other commitments. I am still staying active, and have made a conscientious decision to take the more active choice. Walked to the library last week rather than drive. Took the stairs rather than the lift. I have noticed a general improvement in my health, not breathing out my arse when i climb a set of stairs, that kind of thing, but i want so much more. the difference, i suppose, is i have the tools, the know how, the inspiration, the only thing i don't have now is the excuse!!

lets keep it brief

things have been hectic lately, work is mad, we have a huge project on that is keeping me in the office for 12 hours a day and keeping me up at night with homework and phone calls. This is going to continue on to next week, when i get a few days off. After that i will pick up this blog again but until then i wont get the time to update. Though things aren't going to plan, i fell more empowered than before and that is a big step forward.
This weekend is mum and dads wedding anniversary so me Dave and Mum will visit the memorial garden, lay flowers and remember the good times.

Dicky Bow Time

Tonight i am heading to the Exhibition Centre for Aberdeen FC's Annual Gala Dinner, with guest speakers Jackie Charlton and Razor Ruddock. It should be a good night though this depends on the company at my table. Tomorrow Aisha has a birthday party so i have to be good tonight, well maybe half good.
The weather has certainly turned for the worse. Last weekend was terrible and there are more high winds due this week. I need to repair my fence tonight, as it got some damage last weekend. The last thing i need is for it to go flying!!
I was reading back over this blog recently and i have hardly mentioned my fitness routine so that will feature more in depth next week!

Today i Held save a life

Today I helped save a life, i donated blood. I am a bronze medal holder, meaning i have gave more than 10 times, but today was the first time in over two years since i had last given. This came as a surprise, funny how time flies!
I have also signed up to the organ donor website to donate my organs once i am gone.
While lying down giving blood it got me thinking to what else i could be doing. I don't give enough to charity and there must be something i can contribute. My time is precious but i do have some spare. So my thinking cap is on and i will see what i can do. I have a variety of good causes that have effected me closely, cancer, Leukemia, cerebral palsy, diabetes. Lets see what happens

Another Year

Today i turn 38 and time for more reflection. I have been thinking about my dad more than usual lately, nothing weird, just happy memories. I sometimes look at Aisha and wonder about our relationship and what road it will take, then think of my own journey with my dad, all the ups and downs. Fortunately i only remember the goods times, choosing not to focus on the bad. Its mum and Dads wedding anniversary on the 17th, and i think me and Dave are going to spend the day with her, which will include a visit to the crematorium memorial garden, a very peaceful place where we can share memories.
So today I am in reflection mode, but also looking forward. I'm thinking hows its time me and Kim were cracking on with having another kid. We have tried, and Kim has miscarried once, but so far nothing. But maybe now its time to get more scientific, look at charts and times and all that. I hope i can learn from my short comings as a dad first time round. Or maybe that should be learn of my short comings as a husband! When Aisha was younger, and work was busy and stressful i was guilty of letting Kim deal with far too much at home, assuming because she was home full time with Aisha she was coping. Things got on top of her and she struggled for a while. We talked and it opened my eyes. Ignorance is bliss as they say. This time it will be different. I think I also realise more now than ever how important family and friends are.
Saying all that if Kim doesn't get me The Stone Roses box set for my birthday today she better start looking for a new home!!