its been a while

i havent posted for a good long time so here's a quick update. Last week i was off on holiday, didnt go anywhere but was great to spend time with the family. The weather was terrible but we still had a good time, playing the Wii, watching DVD's. Then on Sunday got a phone call to say mum had been taken into hospital, the carer had to call an ambulance as mum had went hypo. Spent the afternoon in A&E waiting room, finally got to see mum to be told she would be kept in overnight, so i had to nip out to Inverurie to get an overnight bag for her. Met a lad Kevin in A&E who i knew from years back, his mum was also in. When i went back in at night mum was anxious because she hadnt taken her pills or her insulin. Told her not to worry, she was in the best place to deal with that. Me and Dave had a long chat to her about her diabetis, something she hasnt been able to control since Dad died. If she could get it under control her life would be so much better. When we left the hospital we bumped in to Kevin again. I asked how his mum was and he said he was told not to expect her to make it through the night. She had fallen and dislocated her arm that afternoon, but at some stage had been sick, which had went into her lungs. The poor lad looked absolutely devastated. I really felt for him. Your whole world can be turned upside down in a second. I had a troubled sleep that night thinking of many things that have effected me lately.
We expected mum to get out on the Monday but they kept her in until Tuesday night. I worked late and headed up to take her home. Kim had texted me to ask if i would be home to bath Aisha but i had to say sorry no. Then mum was on the phone chasing me to hurry up as she wanted home. I could feel myself stuck in the middle. I collected mum, rushed out to Inverurie, dropped her off then rushed back into town to try and catch some time with Aisha. When i got in Aisha was on the toilet and Kim was in tears. What was wrong i asked? Aisha had peed herself. She is 6 now and this has been a constant battle. Kim blames herself. She also suspects there could be more to it, possibly Autism. I disagree and this can cause arguments. I washed Aisha and put her to bed, then went to speak to Kim but tension was in the air and we didn't get anywhere.
The next day i went on the Internet to see what i could find. I came across an organisation called ERIC, Education and Resource for Improving Children's incontinence. Hopefully they can give us some answers. I have printed off some literature and started reading through it. I read Aisha a story from there site last night, about a little boy who has trouble pooing. Maybe if she can relate to someone Else's story we can understand her better.
the fitness regime was due to be restarted on Monday after my holiday but has been delayed due to other commitments. I am still staying active, and have made a conscientious decision to take the more active choice. Walked to the library last week rather than drive. Took the stairs rather than the lift. I have noticed a general improvement in my health, not breathing out my arse when i climb a set of stairs, that kind of thing, but i want so much more. the difference, i suppose, is i have the tools, the know how, the inspiration, the only thing i don't have now is the excuse!!

lets keep it brief

things have been hectic lately, work is mad, we have a huge project on that is keeping me in the office for 12 hours a day and keeping me up at night with homework and phone calls. This is going to continue on to next week, when i get a few days off. After that i will pick up this blog again but until then i wont get the time to update. Though things aren't going to plan, i fell more empowered than before and that is a big step forward.
This weekend is mum and dads wedding anniversary so me Dave and Mum will visit the memorial garden, lay flowers and remember the good times.

Dicky Bow Time

Tonight i am heading to the Exhibition Centre for Aberdeen FC's Annual Gala Dinner, with guest speakers Jackie Charlton and Razor Ruddock. It should be a good night though this depends on the company at my table. Tomorrow Aisha has a birthday party so i have to be good tonight, well maybe half good.
The weather has certainly turned for the worse. Last weekend was terrible and there are more high winds due this week. I need to repair my fence tonight, as it got some damage last weekend. The last thing i need is for it to go flying!!
I was reading back over this blog recently and i have hardly mentioned my fitness routine so that will feature more in depth next week!

Today i Held save a life

Today I helped save a life, i donated blood. I am a bronze medal holder, meaning i have gave more than 10 times, but today was the first time in over two years since i had last given. This came as a surprise, funny how time flies!
I have also signed up to the organ donor website to donate my organs once i am gone.
While lying down giving blood it got me thinking to what else i could be doing. I don't give enough to charity and there must be something i can contribute. My time is precious but i do have some spare. So my thinking cap is on and i will see what i can do. I have a variety of good causes that have effected me closely, cancer, Leukemia, cerebral palsy, diabetes. Lets see what happens

Another Year

Today i turn 38 and time for more reflection. I have been thinking about my dad more than usual lately, nothing weird, just happy memories. I sometimes look at Aisha and wonder about our relationship and what road it will take, then think of my own journey with my dad, all the ups and downs. Fortunately i only remember the goods times, choosing not to focus on the bad. Its mum and Dads wedding anniversary on the 17th, and i think me and Dave are going to spend the day with her, which will include a visit to the crematorium memorial garden, a very peaceful place where we can share memories.
So today I am in reflection mode, but also looking forward. I'm thinking hows its time me and Kim were cracking on with having another kid. We have tried, and Kim has miscarried once, but so far nothing. But maybe now its time to get more scientific, look at charts and times and all that. I hope i can learn from my short comings as a dad first time round. Or maybe that should be learn of my short comings as a husband! When Aisha was younger, and work was busy and stressful i was guilty of letting Kim deal with far too much at home, assuming because she was home full time with Aisha she was coping. Things got on top of her and she struggled for a while. We talked and it opened my eyes. Ignorance is bliss as they say. This time it will be different. I think I also realise more now than ever how important family and friends are.
Saying all that if Kim doesn't get me The Stone Roses box set for my birthday today she better start looking for a new home!!

Guess who's Back

Its great having Dave back from Australia. No one understands Mum better than me and Dave so to speak to him about issues has been great. He had a great holiday, and was shattered when i met up with him. Loved the Cork hat and the boomerang though!!
Mum has been causing us yet more concerns lately. Last week she threw one of her carers out of her house. She said the carer, while speaking about Dave being in Australia, asked mum which son she was closer to. When asked the carer claimed all she said was it was good mum was so close to her sons. I spoke to mum about it and she was adamant she was asked that question and it was nothing to do with the carer. I spoke to the care manager about it, and discussed a few issues. We then met at mums house, but i decided not to offer any opinion but to be there as support only. The matter was resolved, where the carer, who is from the Philippines, is returning home at the end of the year, so she wont visit my mum again. This might complicate things if they are short staffed!
That night i phoned Kerry from the Care Company to discuss all that had happened. I told her that i didn't believe my mums version of events but i had to be seen to be supporting her as if she felt she didn't have my full support we would be in trouble. She agreed with me but did point out a repeat of this would put them in a tricky position. She raised some more concerns about mum, mainly that she felt the brain damage was more severe than first thought. What i perceived to be as laziness when it comes to house work etc, may now be a lack of understanding on mums part to carry out these functions.
Mum is also eager to come of the anti-depressants. In one week she went to the doctor and got her dosage reduced, then told the grief councillors she didn't think she needed another visit. I don't know if this is right, but will keep a close eye on things to see how she is.

Schedule

My schedule is a bit crazy just now, work is very busy with a recent project taking up 65 hours a week of my time just now, pays well but tiring. Dave is back form his holiday which is great, and mum is causing some concern but that's a post in itself!! Today i am very tired as i was down in Glasgow seeing the Pixies. They are doing a 20th Anniversary tour for their Doolittle Album. Watching them play out the album in its entirety last night just showed what a classic album it is, every single song is a belter, not like now when three goods songs means an album gets a 7/10 rating. There wasn't much interaction with the crowd but the songs stood up for themselves. Suffering today but well worth it.
the fitness is going fine, time is still an issue but i hope but writing it down i will notice the difference. the weight is still refusing to shift, though i had a night out last week and have another one this week so wont expect miracles. I turn 38 this week so am sure there will be plenty reflection.