okay, so its time to stop f**king around with this and get some focus. I am using too many excuses. This week i have had the cold, something i haven't been able to shake off since New Year. Sitting there feeling sorry for myself. Bollocks. Last night i was sat in the living room, feeling fat after my supper. Bollocks. Had enough of it. I'm feeling like i am playing at this change game. Hasn't that always been my problem? Playing with ideas instead of doing something about it? The problem is the results aren't instant and that I have to accept. I have to gauge results not just in the final outcome but in every stage completed. That may be my biggest problem, the need for instant results.
I think i have made good strides with the diet, where i no longer snack like I used to. I am far from being an angel but hey, I don't want to be. I have bought a juicer, and the first result was good, tastier than I thought. Last night I went to Asda and bought a pile of fruit and veg to juice up over the next week. I have everything in place and no excuses.
Next week Bob Spour is in Aberdeen and part of his weekend will be a NLP workshop which i intend signing up to. I am fascinated with this subject, and have starting reading about it, but I find self teaching hard. This workshop should give me a good start, and it will be good to speak to someone with a wealth of knowledge to answer my questions.
Thursday 29 January 2009
Monday 26 January 2009
Week 4
Another week and once again still at the same weight. I can't say I am surprised. I had a night out on Saturday, and so suffered all day yesterday. Two nights out in two weeks is not common for me, and that will be the last for a while. I have also been suffering with a cold this past few weeks and cant shake it off.
I bought myself a juicer last week and have a long list of ingredients to get for it. I am hoping a juice in the morning will help perk me up for the day. The last two weeks I have been very lethargic, maybe i am suffering from SAD!!
The exercising has been, well inconsistent. I need to get back to my regular routine, so the alarm clock will be set early for tomorrow.
Tonight I am off to see my folks. My dad has ordered one of these adjustable beds. As he has a chronic illness he doesn't have to pay VAT. I expect once it arrives he will be in it permanently. At the moment he is stuck on the sofa all day. When he last fell it took all his confidence so now he stays on the sofa all day. When the bed arrives it will replace the sofa in the living room. Not ideal but that's the way it is. My mum at least is happier. She had a visit from a nurse last week that seemed to make a big difference, she just needed to speak to someone who understood where she was coming from. I suppose when someone has cancer you don't always think about the person who is caring for them. My mum seemed to have no conversation in her, her life was devoted to my dad and his illness. i hope she realises she has to make time for herself.
I bought myself a juicer last week and have a long list of ingredients to get for it. I am hoping a juice in the morning will help perk me up for the day. The last two weeks I have been very lethargic, maybe i am suffering from SAD!!
The exercising has been, well inconsistent. I need to get back to my regular routine, so the alarm clock will be set early for tomorrow.
Tonight I am off to see my folks. My dad has ordered one of these adjustable beds. As he has a chronic illness he doesn't have to pay VAT. I expect once it arrives he will be in it permanently. At the moment he is stuck on the sofa all day. When he last fell it took all his confidence so now he stays on the sofa all day. When the bed arrives it will replace the sofa in the living room. Not ideal but that's the way it is. My mum at least is happier. She had a visit from a nurse last week that seemed to make a big difference, she just needed to speak to someone who understood where she was coming from. I suppose when someone has cancer you don't always think about the person who is caring for them. My mum seemed to have no conversation in her, her life was devoted to my dad and his illness. i hope she realises she has to make time for herself.
Monday 19 January 2009
Week 3
so i now begin week 3. I weighed myself this morning and haven't lost an ounce. This is probably due to having a night out on Friday and a not so healthy lunch on Saturday. The fitness also wasn't as consistent as I wanted it last week, so this week I will give it a big push to get back on track. I don't know why i lose my focus so easily.
My father is causing me some distress. I don't type this as an excuse, more i am trying to get my thoughts down so i can maybe make sense of them. It looks now like he will be bed ridden for the rest of his life. He fell again on Saturday night and bruised his hand. He now has no confidence in walking and is a prisoner on the sofa. So we have ordered him one of the adjustable beds but i cant see him ever leaving it. I am amazed how quickly he is deteriorating. He never shares information with me, like how much pain he is in, so I can only take a guess. But I am sure it wont be nice. He is all skin and bones, his left arms constantly twitches, and for the first time I can noticeably see that is brain isn't as sharp as it was. He is back in the hospital next Monday for another scan but the doctors cant do anything for him. I expect sooner rather than later he will be admitted to hospital, probably for good. It is so sad to see him like this. My father was a very proud man, a real mans man, with arms like body builder, who didn't show much emotion. We never had the best relationship but that changed just over a decade a go and the relationship has been good since. Even though he looks so poorly I try and remember him as the man I used to look up to so much, usually without his knowledge.
My father is causing me some distress. I don't type this as an excuse, more i am trying to get my thoughts down so i can maybe make sense of them. It looks now like he will be bed ridden for the rest of his life. He fell again on Saturday night and bruised his hand. He now has no confidence in walking and is a prisoner on the sofa. So we have ordered him one of the adjustable beds but i cant see him ever leaving it. I am amazed how quickly he is deteriorating. He never shares information with me, like how much pain he is in, so I can only take a guess. But I am sure it wont be nice. He is all skin and bones, his left arms constantly twitches, and for the first time I can noticeably see that is brain isn't as sharp as it was. He is back in the hospital next Monday for another scan but the doctors cant do anything for him. I expect sooner rather than later he will be admitted to hospital, probably for good. It is so sad to see him like this. My father was a very proud man, a real mans man, with arms like body builder, who didn't show much emotion. We never had the best relationship but that changed just over a decade a go and the relationship has been good since. Even though he looks so poorly I try and remember him as the man I used to look up to so much, usually without his knowledge.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
Today is the first real lapse from the routine. I didn't get up as planned for my early morning exercise routine. I don't know why. i woke up then fell asleep again, waking too late to go out before work. I think it is down to the lack of preparation i had done the night before. My usual routine is to get all my running clothes, stop watch etc laid out for the next day. Last night I didn't. I have also noticed the days when i ain't running i have struggled to get out of bed. Maybe in those days i lose some focus, and need to readjust.
I watched some Derren Brown last night, and noticed how he uses some NLP techniques. Then I caught some of Big Brothers little brother programme this morning. Usually I avoid these types of programmes like the plague but they had a psychologist analysing one of the contestants. I was amazed she used some NLP techniques when analysing someone. This NLP is everywhere. It did make me realise you cant just read a couple of books and have a working knowledge of it, you really need to study it. And study it I will.
Kim's still working away at her course. She was paid off in December so has spare time during the day to study. Hopefully a job will come up soon though!!
I watched some Derren Brown last night, and noticed how he uses some NLP techniques. Then I caught some of Big Brothers little brother programme this morning. Usually I avoid these types of programmes like the plague but they had a psychologist analysing one of the contestants. I was amazed she used some NLP techniques when analysing someone. This NLP is everywhere. It did make me realise you cant just read a couple of books and have a working knowledge of it, you really need to study it. And study it I will.
Kim's still working away at her course. She was paid off in December so has spare time during the day to study. Hopefully a job will come up soon though!!
Tuesday 13 January 2009
Yesterdays early morning work out went well, though I found it hard to get my times right as i couldn't see my stopwatch clearly in the dark!! But there is no tightness in my thighs. The real test will start when i start putting in more times. At the moment I am happy to take things slow. I am really looking forward to seeing a change, especially in my fitness. I have never been fit. I love playing badminton, and played with a colleague a few years back. He only ever beat me once, but after each game it looked like he had thrashed me as my face was bright red while he looked fine. We would play during lunch and it would take me until 3pm to lose the colour in my face!!
My friend Pat has arranged an NLP workshop with Bob Spour which i plan to attend. This will give me the chance to learn form an expert and also to ask questions. The one thing about studying yourself is the lack of opportunity to bounce thoughts and ideas off of someone else. I really think this is the opportunity that can help me turn things around. Mental strength is the key. Being able to address each situation confidently, even thought they may be tough will be important for me. The last thing I want to do is slip into a depression. i have suffered from depression in the past, at the time when prozac was being made available in the UK. My grandmother also suffered from it, so maybe it is in my genes, then again, maybe not. But it is a very tough thing to overcome, the power of your own mind. I managed mostly in part to meeting my would be wife. Unfortunately for me the prozac didn't work. It was a very strange time in my life. So with my fathers ill health, my brothers imminent departure for Australia, and the poor state of my mind last year, i need to focus and to ensure I can handle anything life throws at me with a bit more resolve.
My friend Pat has arranged an NLP workshop with Bob Spour which i plan to attend. This will give me the chance to learn form an expert and also to ask questions. The one thing about studying yourself is the lack of opportunity to bounce thoughts and ideas off of someone else. I really think this is the opportunity that can help me turn things around. Mental strength is the key. Being able to address each situation confidently, even thought they may be tough will be important for me. The last thing I want to do is slip into a depression. i have suffered from depression in the past, at the time when prozac was being made available in the UK. My grandmother also suffered from it, so maybe it is in my genes, then again, maybe not. But it is a very tough thing to overcome, the power of your own mind. I managed mostly in part to meeting my would be wife. Unfortunately for me the prozac didn't work. It was a very strange time in my life. So with my fathers ill health, my brothers imminent departure for Australia, and the poor state of my mind last year, i need to focus and to ensure I can handle anything life throws at me with a bit more resolve.
Monday 12 January 2009
Week 2
So before i go into week two, lets have a quick review of week one. When i started this blog i split my aims and ambitions into five categories, so lets see them
Health & Fitness - The fitness programme went well, but I felt I could have done better, but as I am so unfit I won't beat myself up about it. The diet was the same, went well but could do better. I suppose in January there isn't the same desire or availability for salads. I have done well to cut out most of the snacking, but the meals could be organised better and I will work on that.
Finance - I haven't really addressed this issue, but plan to sit down with Kim and do a budget, something we have never done. This will be painful but as Kim isn't working just now, and with the credit crunch, needs to happen soon.
Family - I have managed to devote more time to my family, which has been good. The thing that bothers me is our activities are the same week in, week out. Aisha is limited because of her cerebral palsy and selective mutism in that she would find it hard to communicate with an instructor, and she would also find the likes of gymnastics hard to do with her lack of movement and flexibility. But maybe we need to push her a bit harder!!
Culture and Arts - this hasn't changed much to be honest. I still spend more than enough time in front of the TV. I also haven't looked at the guitar or French lessons yet. But, and this is a valid but, I am studying NLP at the momement and this should open doors for me in regard to how I approach learning these new skills. This may be a bit of a cop out but I want to start this new learning with a better chance of completing them. For this to happen I have to get my brain in tune.
Career - Once again there hasn't been much change. With the credit crunch everyone is affected and the Oil Industry is no different. It may well be I will be here for the next 6 months. What I plan to do is visit a recruitment agency, tell them the type of job I am looking for, and get them to advise what skills I need to learn. This should put me in a better position for when the market recovers and the work starts to improve.
So that's a quick review. All in all nothing great but a decent start. I was watching Paul McKenna's I can make you thin programme lat night and was amazed at how many NLP techniques he uses, I think i will have to tune in again to see what I can learn.
Health & Fitness - The fitness programme went well, but I felt I could have done better, but as I am so unfit I won't beat myself up about it. The diet was the same, went well but could do better. I suppose in January there isn't the same desire or availability for salads. I have done well to cut out most of the snacking, but the meals could be organised better and I will work on that.
Finance - I haven't really addressed this issue, but plan to sit down with Kim and do a budget, something we have never done. This will be painful but as Kim isn't working just now, and with the credit crunch, needs to happen soon.
Family - I have managed to devote more time to my family, which has been good. The thing that bothers me is our activities are the same week in, week out. Aisha is limited because of her cerebral palsy and selective mutism in that she would find it hard to communicate with an instructor, and she would also find the likes of gymnastics hard to do with her lack of movement and flexibility. But maybe we need to push her a bit harder!!
Culture and Arts - this hasn't changed much to be honest. I still spend more than enough time in front of the TV. I also haven't looked at the guitar or French lessons yet. But, and this is a valid but, I am studying NLP at the momement and this should open doors for me in regard to how I approach learning these new skills. This may be a bit of a cop out but I want to start this new learning with a better chance of completing them. For this to happen I have to get my brain in tune.
Career - Once again there hasn't been much change. With the credit crunch everyone is affected and the Oil Industry is no different. It may well be I will be here for the next 6 months. What I plan to do is visit a recruitment agency, tell them the type of job I am looking for, and get them to advise what skills I need to learn. This should put me in a better position for when the market recovers and the work starts to improve.
So that's a quick review. All in all nothing great but a decent start. I was watching Paul McKenna's I can make you thin programme lat night and was amazed at how many NLP techniques he uses, I think i will have to tune in again to see what I can learn.
Saturday 10 January 2009
I haven't posted for a few days but things have been going good. I have managed to keep to the programme so far. Wednesday consisted of 30 second sprints followed by 2 minute rests. The first was OK, the second felt good, the third was hard but by the fifth I was struggling. On Friday I was up at 6am where the running consisted of 1 minute of walking followed by three minutes of running. My thighs didn't ache like the did which felt good, but i was still shattered afterwards. Tomorrow I am up again early for another routine.
The diet is also going OK, but could be better. I have cut out the snacking, but my meals are still on the large side. I am going to get myself a juicer and start drinking one each morning. I will also start reducing the size of the meals into smaller more regular ones. Tonight i treated myself to some pizza. To be honest after eating it, it didn't feel like a treat, as i didn't feel any better for eating it. I will keep that in mind for the next time I want some comfort food.
I am finding NLP fascinating. Its funny how so many things I read about, i cant relate to. I find myself driving to work thinking about an experience, and how NLP can help me to change how I deal with events in the future. I have so many things I want to change and am convinced this is the tool i can use to help myself.
I phoned my mum tonight who is still feeling down. Her ankle still hurts too much for her to walk on, so my role as carer will continue.
The diet is also going OK, but could be better. I have cut out the snacking, but my meals are still on the large side. I am going to get myself a juicer and start drinking one each morning. I will also start reducing the size of the meals into smaller more regular ones. Tonight i treated myself to some pizza. To be honest after eating it, it didn't feel like a treat, as i didn't feel any better for eating it. I will keep that in mind for the next time I want some comfort food.
I am finding NLP fascinating. Its funny how so many things I read about, i cant relate to. I find myself driving to work thinking about an experience, and how NLP can help me to change how I deal with events in the future. I have so many things I want to change and am convinced this is the tool i can use to help myself.
I phoned my mum tonight who is still feeling down. Her ankle still hurts too much for her to walk on, so my role as carer will continue.
Tuesday 6 January 2009
Today I didn't get up so early and felt a bit lethargic. Completely different yesterday when after the early morning exercise I felt refreshed and ready for the days events. I need to focus on this each morning, so that I remember it really is better to get that early start. My thighs feel tight, but no pain no gain is what I am telling myself. I still feel very overweight, and it is usually this feeling that stops me from continuing the many diets I have started. If I haven't had a good day, I turn to junk food for comfort slouched on the sofa. But not any more.
I spoke earlier about being inspired by others but I realised the only inspiration should be from myself. I have to do this first and foremost for myself. The results will affect others in a positive way. Being more self confident will make me a better husband, a better dad, a better work colleague, a better friend. I wont want to hide away from the world when the chips are down.
I visited my folks last night. My mum got the plaster cast removed yesterday so life will be a bit easier for them. My dad fell three times over new year and the doctor has given him a walking stick to get about. He will also get a visit from the physiotherapist to help strengthen his legs. The problem with this is he has to want to help himself, and it looks like he has given up. He is due to visit the hospital on the 26th of this month to x-ray his lungs to see how much the cancer has progressed. I don't expect him to accept any treatment and have faced up to the fact the next few months will see him deteriorate with each visit. Last night he was shaking, and i think now his mind isn't as strong as it was. I need to be strong for them, especially my mum who has found the last few weeks hard. She has also stepped back into herself, and seems to have no confidence. I am trying to encourage her to be strong, and not to just sit back and let things happen. Here's hoping she can be.
I spoke earlier about being inspired by others but I realised the only inspiration should be from myself. I have to do this first and foremost for myself. The results will affect others in a positive way. Being more self confident will make me a better husband, a better dad, a better work colleague, a better friend. I wont want to hide away from the world when the chips are down.
I visited my folks last night. My mum got the plaster cast removed yesterday so life will be a bit easier for them. My dad fell three times over new year and the doctor has given him a walking stick to get about. He will also get a visit from the physiotherapist to help strengthen his legs. The problem with this is he has to want to help himself, and it looks like he has given up. He is due to visit the hospital on the 26th of this month to x-ray his lungs to see how much the cancer has progressed. I don't expect him to accept any treatment and have faced up to the fact the next few months will see him deteriorate with each visit. Last night he was shaking, and i think now his mind isn't as strong as it was. I need to be strong for them, especially my mum who has found the last few weeks hard. She has also stepped back into herself, and seems to have no confidence. I am trying to encourage her to be strong, and not to just sit back and let things happen. Here's hoping she can be.
Monday 5 January 2009
Monday Monday
I was up and out of the house 6am this morning, to start my programme. The first exercises was 2 minutes of walking followed by 2 minutes of jogging. I tried to focus by visualising myself slim, fit and healthy, the person I want to be. I am sure it helped, if nothing else it gave me something to distract from the pain I was in. For someone who went out a few weeks back and really struggled I found this morning easier, was that due to me focusing on something positive? I don't know.
After the jogging/walking I came home and done the following
5 x knee press ups
5 x dorsal raise
5 x chair dips
5 x sit ups
I then finished with some stretches. I done it, my new life had began. I then proceeded to forget to weigh myself. Okay, I can live with that.
The diet also start off today and so far so good. I really shouldn't call it a diet, more like I am cutting out the crap. I will look into other options, but over the next couple of months at least it will be good old Scottish fare like mince and tatties, broth and stovies.
Tonight I will start to study NLP. I have quickly read a book Teach Yourself NLP, but the subject matter is so vast I need to take the approach a student would take at university. So tonight I will start reading the book again, but this time taking notes.
After the jogging/walking I came home and done the following
5 x knee press ups
5 x dorsal raise
5 x chair dips
5 x sit ups
I then finished with some stretches. I done it, my new life had began. I then proceeded to forget to weigh myself. Okay, I can live with that.
The diet also start off today and so far so good. I really shouldn't call it a diet, more like I am cutting out the crap. I will look into other options, but over the next couple of months at least it will be good old Scottish fare like mince and tatties, broth and stovies.
Tonight I will start to study NLP. I have quickly read a book Teach Yourself NLP, but the subject matter is so vast I need to take the approach a student would take at university. So tonight I will start reading the book again, but this time taking notes.
Sunday 4 January 2009
Resolution
I haven't posted anything for two weeks, and have been enjoying all the festive fair of drink and food. And now it is down to the serious bit, getting my life back in order. So that means diet, regime, and to focus my attitude. I have been reading up on NLP and am convinced it can help change my life. I need to programme my brain to be more positive in life, i cant let everything affect me like it has.
So tomorrow the fitness and diet regime begins again. I am determined to see it through this time. Wish me luck!!
So tomorrow the fitness and diet regime begins again. I am determined to see it through this time. Wish me luck!!
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