Friday past seen me receiving some sad news. A friend of mine, Davie, had been ill for a few weeks. He had started showing definite signs when he started to get Jaundice. He had lost his appetite and then started getting stomach pains. When the jaundice was diagnosed they ran a CT scan and it showed he had a tumour on his pancreas. The tumour is sitting on a vein and they don't want to operate as it is so he will have 5 weeks of chemotherapy before 5 weeks of rest and then the operation followed, most likely by more chemotherapy. When i spoke to him on Friday he was obviously down and i gave him two examples in my experience with Cancer. My Friend Pat who is still going strong, much down to his positive attitude, and my father who gave up the fight before it began and died within 6 months. I told him he had a choice, which path do you want to follow. Fortunately for him he has recently had a baby girl, and this can be his focus, his goal to beat this. He has another appointment today to confirm dates etc with the surgeon.
I fell out with my mum on Friday, the first time since my dad died. She refuses through choice, or through her mental issues, to listen to my advise on how to control her diabetes. I phoned her today to ask how she was and she told me she had went hypo again yesterday. I try to assure her my only concern is her well being but i feel she only hears me nagging her now. I need to address this. I will have a meeting with her carers soon to hear their concerns.
I have been doing a fair bit of running lately, trying to improve my stamina. Slowly but surely i am noticing a difference. I watched a bit of Eddie Izzard last night in amazement at his achievements, and will use that as an inspiration.
The weekend was great with the sun shining, it now feels like we are out of winter and spring really has sprung!!

the restructuring at work has taken place and i am now working out of a portacabin. Truth be told its not as bad as i thought it would be but that wont stop me looking elsewhere for work. I have met with an agency and applied for a couple of jobs. Next month See's the new budgets put in place, which should see the job market expand and hopefully more opportunities.
Mum has been good this past couple of weeks, she seems to be controlling her diabetes far better than usual. The flip side is that Aisha has been having a terrible time of it. She is now on patches for her wetting, and they seem to be working, but getting to this point has been a struggle. The first lot of medication gave her diarrhea. when she came off this, her wetting got worse, as bad as it ever was. She then got tablets that didn't have any effect. Her bladder seemed to fill up like it was supposed to, but the message to the brain to go pee wasn't happening. One night she peed 4 times from 7.30pm to 6.30am, a definite sign things were worse. then on Friday she was given patches, which she keeps on for four days. these are working a treat, she has been dry for three days straight. The bladder fills properly, and the message to the brain is clear. Long may it continue!!
The light nights are nearly here, and the bike has been dusted down, looking forward to getting out and about!!
My good friend Pat got the news he was hoping for, he has been added to the transplant list. i really never had any doubt he would be, i knew his positive outlook would convince the consultants he should be considered. I wish at key times, when i moan about the little things in life that annoy me, like work, i could take a step back and look at Pat's battle and compare my own petty problems. It might make me keep my mouth shut. Well, maybe not!!

the easiest day is yesterday

This weeks been really tough. The only way i can describe it, is like a baseball player having balls thrown at him and as he tires he finds it hard to bat them away. That seems to be me this week, i am really struggling to cope this week. I can see it in my head, the lack of ability to deal with the drip drip drip of problems. Aisha's medicine had to be stopped because of the diarrhea she was getting. The downside was her wetting got ten times worse. One night i put her to bed at 7.30pm. she peed before she went to bed, then when i went to take her for a pee at 10.30pm her bed was soaking. she got really upset at this. She has never been like that. This must be a reaction to the medicine still being in her system. We now have tablets to take once a day, lets hope they have no side effects.
work has been tough. The reality of the changes has hit home. it seems each day i get a reminder of my new position in the company. I am finding it really hard to accept the years of hard work has been rewarded by a demotion and a move to a portacabin. I know the truth is we are all a number, and that i only go here to earn a wage. But i find it hard to have it all ripped away from me. I have been thinking about my dad this week for obvious reasons and maybe, all the changes i am going through are effecting me far more than they should!!
The icing on the cake was Kim was paid off on Wednesday. Looking forward to next week already!!