a change of direction

over the last few days i have went back to my old routine, a poor diet and no exercise. The reason for this? So i could enter the stats into my livestrong account to see how bad my diet was, and a final reminder of what I am leaving behind. and I am glad I did. Take today. I took Aisha to MacDonald's for lunch, and had a BBQ for supper. Okay maybe not so bad, but it made me feel bloated, fat and very uncomfortable. Add in the fact the weather was great and it hit home why i want to shift this weight. I covered up in a big baggy shapeless shirt and three quarter length trousers but didn't feel at all comfortable. I see so much clothes that are at the moment out of my reach. Not due to price but more design and how I will look and feel wearing them. But they will be my inspiration to change, along with the other inspirations I have collected over the weeks.
So Sunday night was the start of another fast. This time I found it very easy and have found the best solution, have my tea around 6pm then fast for 24 hours until the next evening. My evening meal consisted of two burgers that would have been done on the BBQ if my car hadn't broken down and left me late getting home. And no snacks at night, not even a chocolate out of Kim's birthday box. Happy Birthday darling, I love you xx

Mum

Finally, we have a date, Wednesday the 10th June, where we will meet with the medical staff and decide on the level of care mum will need at home. Speaking to the nurse this morning she will need assistance from more than one person on a day to day basis. It is likely it will be one to look after her diabetes, another to look after her occupational functions, and Dave and myself. The progress she has made lately has been small, but then she has a shorter distance to travel. she has gained most of the skills she once had, ones we take for granted like making a cup of tea are still a bit of a challenge. The real worry is once she gets out of hospital she is more vulnerable. Anyone can knock at the door and if they see how vulnerable she is they may think she is an easy target. That will mean being on close contact with her, and being there for her always. It will mean me dashing out to Inverurie for the smallest of requests, to open a jar, to change a light bulb. But as time passes she will overcome the Small hurdles. Last week she couldn't fasten the seat belt in my car. This week she can. Progress. Yes very small steps, but small steps in the right direction.

i haven't posted for a few days now so let me recap on whats been happening. First off, i weighed myself on Monday and have lost 1.1/2 pounds. Woohoo!!!! Okay not the greatest but finally the weight is coming off and and i am going in the right direction. What has been a big help has been the diet tracker i have been using. i can physically see what i have eaten, the calorie content, the fat content, and make the necessary adjustments to keep on track. I can also log my fitness regime which also helps. I have to admit losing that 1.1/2 pounds felt good and gave me inspiration to carry on.
I spent the whole weekend gardening, or more to the point weeding. Saturday and Sunday spent in my garden, Mondays in mums garden, but now both are looking a lot better. Neither are finished but at least you can see an improvement!!
Oh and Jimmy Calderwood has been sacked, happy days!!!!!!!!

Diet

Diet is the biggest challenge i will have in my revolution. It is the biggest obstacle for me to overcome. this is how i plan to do it. I have spoke about the fasting diet where i don't eat for 24 hours at a time, twice a week. Today i have just finished my first fast of the week. I cant say it is easy, easy would be to fill my face when i am hungry, but the point is it suits me. This is how my mind works. I start a diet on Monday, up to Wednesday might be going great, then Thursday my planned schedule gets disrupted, say I have to work late or nip out to see my mum. What then happens is I eat crap instead of a balanced meal. Thursday comes and in the back of my head I know Wednesday wasn't a great day for the diet so I am not so strict with what I eat. By Thursday the diet is finished BUT with the promise to start again on Monday. This then gives me Friday, Saturday and Sunday to fill my face knowing I will start a new diet again on Monday!! With the fasting diet I have more control, as I wont beat myself up when i have a bad day.
I am using Lance Armstrongs livestrong web site's calorie tracker to record everything I eat. I settled on this because it had all the UK foods in its database where as the other one I used didn't and I had to settle for a US equivalent or input all the nutritional information myself. Another advantage is i can usee the App on my iTouch which gives me more flexibility.
This tracker also has let me set my weight loss goal. I have entered my starting weight and also my desired weight. Working on the basis that I want to get to my desired weight for my birthday, 7th October, I must lose 2lb a week. To do this I must only consume 1602 calories per day. this works out at 11,214 calories per 7 day week. With the fasting diet I will only be eating for 5 days giving me an allowance of 2242 calories a day. Now this is closer to the recommended allowance of 2500 a day for a man of my size, and should be easily attainable. It also doesn't include calories burned during exercise. The one thing at the back of my mind is the doubt that 24 hour fasting does affect the metabolism and the fasting isn't having the desired affect, but for now it has been too short a period to establish if this is correct.
Off now to enjoy my supper, nothing like a fast to build an appetite!!

A new beginning

a current theme in my life is of the fresh start. You know what I mean. Start a diet, it lasts a few days and then you blow it, but promise yourself to start again next week. That has been my way of thinking for years, and where has it got me? Nowhere. So now i look at things in a different perspective. I now have all the tools at my disposal to change my life. I have the diet plan, i have the exercise plan, i have the finance plan. None are at an advanced stage but are adequate to get me started.
The diet is still on going, but I am learning quickly where I go wrong. So to compensate for this I am keeping a food diary. Everything goes into it, and over time a pattern will emerge. I came to the conclusion that I have a problem with food. Sometimes I binge eat, sometimes i don't, but i certainly lack control. I have a sweet tooth, i have a savoury tooth. So to overcome this I am fasting twice a week. later this week i will put down all the stats to show where i am, where i intend to get to, and how i will get there.
the fitness aspect is going well, the kettlebells are good, but the one thing is i feel i could be doing much more. But I wont beat myself up about it just now.
I feel I am going in the right direction, and if nothing else that is a positive. Now to get the fat off!!

losing my focus

this week has been all over the place. Late nights at work, not enough time spent on the things i want to. My life has had no structure to it and I have suffered for it.I have still managed two kettlebell sessions which is good, but apart from I haven't felt any inner happiness.
Yesterday I received Richard Bandlers new book Get the Life you want an easy book to read split into small segments, i will let you know how i get on with it. It comes with a CD that i downloaded onto my ipod last night, but listening to it this morning, i don't know how beneficial it will be. You have to get past the dramatic talking and loud background music and it is quite unsettling.
The food diary was a bit of a damp squid. The idea is great and I will stick with it, but i chose the wrong site, as it is all US based and not suitable. I will learn from that, not to jump in so quick, but to take my time and to research more. I do have a tendency to miss essential details in other aspects of life, and I need to address that.
Mum is still doing fine, I am visiting her tonight. I haven't seen her for a few days so it will be good to meet up. I also got rid of her old greenhouse through freecycle and there's plenty more where that came from !!

The last week hasn't went so well. I don't know what it was but I felt a bit low. This seemed to have an impact on everything. The diet wasn't great. I fasted twice as planned, but the other days I didn't control my intake. To redeem this I am going to track all the food i eat and analyse it on fitday to make sure i do this properly.
the exercising was also less than i hoped, only two days kettlebell training instead of three. This was partly down to planning to work them on Friday then being stuck here until 8.30pm. But no excuse I done less than i planned so to compensate I will do more this week, starting tonight.
Today me and Dave have a meeting with the Doctor, Psychiatrist and Occupational Therapist to decide the future plans for my mum. Hopefully there will be a positive outcome!!

Another week

Disappointingly I haven't lost any weight this week. This could be that the fasting diet doesn't work. It could be that I have increased my muscle mass at the same rate as I have lost fat. I don't know, but I wont get too disheartened about it just yet. I will give the diet another few weeks to see where I am with it. I hope it works as it does suit me but we will see.
I listened to Richard Bandler on Simon Mayo's show courtisy of BBC iPlayer. Very interesting stuff. I have let the NLP side of things slip over the last few weeks and maybe its time i rediscovered it.

Last night was a bit of a low. I visited mum in hospital and took her home to pick up some needles for injecting her insulin. She still seemed very confused, but not that bothered about it. I have to accept this will be a long journey. When I heard the occupational therapist planned to take her home for some exercises, making a cup of tea, heating up some food, that type of thing, i thought she might be on the mend sooner than hoped. Saturday made me realise that isn't the case. She is still a long way from getting home if ever. But she seems happy, and for that I am thankful. The depression doesn't seem to be around and she is off the anti-depressants.
Today i worked the kettlebells again today in the garden between rain showers. I have read about HIIT and mentioned it here before. Interval training is good for fat loss, something I am keen on. This can be worked with running, swimming, cycling, or possibly kettlebells. You start with 30 seconds of high intensity training, followed by 90 seconds of resting, not standing still but a reduced rate of exercise, say walking. This would last 20 minutes. Each week would see an increase in training and a reduction in resting until it was an even 50/50 split. This form of exercise works the metabolism harder than a similar exercise at a constant rate, say jogging. I now plan to try and work this in to my busy schedule. Today I tried it with the kettlebells and felt good afterwards, though red faced and out of breath as usual.
The diet has been good this a week and tomorrow i will weigh myself to see how well it has really went.
Tomorrow not only is it May Day but also Star Wars day, May the 4th be with you!!!!!

just back from pittodrie where Aberdeen lost to Celtic. Should have been more than 1-0 up at half time but went in level and huffed and puffed second half. Defensive mistakes cost us again.
Mum's doing good, she's been home for a visit. She has been working with the occupational therapist and is progressing well. I am feeling more optimistic about her future. Have sorted out her finances for her, now to concentrate more on my own, but more of that next week.
Done my second fast of the week from Friday lunchtime through to saturday and found this one harder this time. I think i will revert back to a supper to supper 24 hour fast. But that is another two done for this week. Haven't weighed myself yet but my trousers fit more comfortable on me which is a good sign. I have also done three kettlebell sessions this week. Last night I didn't get finished work until 7.30pm but forced myself not to miss a session. Found the Turkish get ups quite hard, and don't think i done them justice but will persevere until i crack it. The swings are feeling good and i think i have the technique right.