Improvement Every Day

Yesterday there was a slight improvement with mum, which at this moment is all we can ask for. She managed some tea and toast, and managed to say yes and no, she managed to say Aisha, and she tried to say more but at the moment it isn't coming. But a small improvement every day is fine. Dave went out to Inverurie to tidy up the house, turn off the heating etc and to look for some clues to see if we could work out what has happened. In her bedroom he found a note. On one side was a letter to me and Dave telling us what mum wanted done when she died. This was no surprise to me as she told me she was to write this and was going to get my uncle to sign it. But on the back she had written how she couldn't live without my dad and for us not to think to bad of her. This as you can imagine broke my heart. I can honestly say I felt no anger towards her for what she had done, only pity. But pity won't help her through this. A show of strength from her sons and a vision of what she still has in front of her is what she needs.
For all the discussions we have had, suicide was the one option we didn't think was possible. We spoke to a psychiatrist who told us that diabetics are usually successful in committing suicide as they can overdose on insulin. So we dismissed this. Now we know we were wrong. Speaking to relatives we are all in agreement she never showed any suicidal tendencies. Looking at it now, the one sign that we may have missed was that she was coping better than anyone expected. I'm not going to beat myself up over this. I need to focus on what i need to do to help mum.
Today i am heading out to Inverurie to pay for my dads funeral, to sort out my mums bank account, as i expect her to be in hospital for a good while. A nurse from Cornhill sat with her last night and i expect once she is off the drip she will be moved to Cornhill for assessment.
Through all this Dave has been great, we are really working as a team now, and it fells good. No one makes me laugh like Dave, we are really close again, and i am determined that is how it is going to stay.